Posts
It is 2009 and there is plenty for which to be thankful. If you are in good health, experiencing prosperity or great challenge, you have much to thank. Why you ask? Because there is a lesson to be learned in all experiences. What you do with that lesson is up to you as it is both your right & responsibility to respond. If you are in position of leadership or influence, and you are sharing a message; you must tell what is to happen and show how it happens. Remember, information without demonstration is nothing more than conversation.
Have a wonderful and safe holiday.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
What, me?
What’s in a word?
My wife and were talking about work stuff and she said something very interesting about me. She said that I do not have “thick skin”. Now I thought about it for a while only to find that I was embarrassed, hurt, tearful and annoyed.
All of this is a joke of course but I wanted to learn more about her comment. It stemmed from a friend of hers getting the business from her boss including threats of losing her job due to unfulfilled projects. Outside of the threats, she was ripped until she succumbed to tears. My comment to that was something to the effect of standing up for oneself (in a manner that is professional, of course). I believe you have to stand a ground where you can do what you say and vis-à-vis. As long as you deliver what you promise, you can have the right to defend yourself when needed.
I was told I do not have thick skin and that I am offended easily. When I heard this, I was offended… LOL (Joke again). However, the point is, I have no problem with confrontation; even with the boss if the situation calls for it. Now, I am not saying you must be rude just to prove a point, but I do believe there is a stance to take and that all sides must be brought to light. Now, what I cannot tolerate is the personal attacks from people hiding behind their positions. That is an act of coward proportions. I have seen that ill activity in a number of work environments and I did not like it then nor do I like it now. If that makes me “thin skin”, then I agree with the assessment, totally.
What’s in a word? What have you been called or not called lately?
My wife and were talking about work stuff and she said something very interesting about me. She said that I do not have “thick skin”. Now I thought about it for a while only to find that I was embarrassed, hurt, tearful and annoyed.
All of this is a joke of course but I wanted to learn more about her comment. It stemmed from a friend of hers getting the business from her boss including threats of losing her job due to unfulfilled projects. Outside of the threats, she was ripped until she succumbed to tears. My comment to that was something to the effect of standing up for oneself (in a manner that is professional, of course). I believe you have to stand a ground where you can do what you say and vis-à-vis. As long as you deliver what you promise, you can have the right to defend yourself when needed.
I was told I do not have thick skin and that I am offended easily. When I heard this, I was offended… LOL (Joke again). However, the point is, I have no problem with confrontation; even with the boss if the situation calls for it. Now, I am not saying you must be rude just to prove a point, but I do believe there is a stance to take and that all sides must be brought to light. Now, what I cannot tolerate is the personal attacks from people hiding behind their positions. That is an act of coward proportions. I have seen that ill activity in a number of work environments and I did not like it then nor do I like it now. If that makes me “thin skin”, then I agree with the assessment, totally.
What’s in a word? What have you been called or not called lately?
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Diving lines (What they can bring)
Dividing...
I am not a big fan of TV sitcoms (situational comedies). My reason, because the men of the show type are always viewed as idiots or buffoons; where the wives seems to have all the answers and the right to rule the (home) universe. No matter you look, the man is asking if his outfit is the to liking of the Wife. Last I checked, the Wife became the Wife partly of the husband’s attire (among other things, of course). When did things change when the couple said, “I do”. Did he immediately lose his sense of style (assuming he had one to begin with)? And why does he always appear stupid to the Wife and her girlfriends? My Wife is a huge fan of some of these shows and I consider such time as HER time. Especially with her favorite Real Housewives of Atlanta (Yuck!).
I am not sure if I am overly sensitive to this subject but when will this madness stop? I believe there is balance to be had where both are right and wrong sometimes. We need encouragement when we are down, and we need support when we are afflicted and suffering. The Man can be strong enough to confront an intruder in his home, but later criticized and mocked when he ends up on the wrong side of the victory from said confrontation. I guess there is something for all to watch and dare I say, enjoy. However, I am NOT a fan of such shows or situations where we men have to apologize for being less than intelligent and more so, overly apologetic for our shortcomings.
I do not want to sound like a hater, but enough is enough. Men, stand up and represent the best you can.
By the way… I cannot stand the show “Real Housewives of Atlanta”. Ladies, if you are real about yours, please stand up and share your thoughts…
Out
I am not a big fan of TV sitcoms (situational comedies). My reason, because the men of the show type are always viewed as idiots or buffoons; where the wives seems to have all the answers and the right to rule the (home) universe. No matter you look, the man is asking if his outfit is the to liking of the Wife. Last I checked, the Wife became the Wife partly of the husband’s attire (among other things, of course). When did things change when the couple said, “I do”. Did he immediately lose his sense of style (assuming he had one to begin with)? And why does he always appear stupid to the Wife and her girlfriends? My Wife is a huge fan of some of these shows and I consider such time as HER time. Especially with her favorite Real Housewives of Atlanta (Yuck!).
I am not sure if I am overly sensitive to this subject but when will this madness stop? I believe there is balance to be had where both are right and wrong sometimes. We need encouragement when we are down, and we need support when we are afflicted and suffering. The Man can be strong enough to confront an intruder in his home, but later criticized and mocked when he ends up on the wrong side of the victory from said confrontation. I guess there is something for all to watch and dare I say, enjoy. However, I am NOT a fan of such shows or situations where we men have to apologize for being less than intelligent and more so, overly apologetic for our shortcomings.
I do not want to sound like a hater, but enough is enough. Men, stand up and represent the best you can.
By the way… I cannot stand the show “Real Housewives of Atlanta”. Ladies, if you are real about yours, please stand up and share your thoughts…
Out
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Knowing the rules.
Knowing the rules
When you are in someone else’s space (be it work, relationship or otherwise), it is said that you must play by their rules; really? Now, say it’s about work, and you don’t like the environment or the boss that run the environment. What are your options? You can always quit and keep your pride or you can knuckle under and accept what’s given to you. Either way, there is some maneuvering to look forward to.
What about relationships? You’re with someone who has a lot of what you seek in an ideal mate. Not to mention, you’re afraid of being alone. Now I hear all the time that one needs to be by them selves to get to know them selves. I believe that. However, what if knowing yourself mean you don’t like being alone (different from lonely). Your mate has a few quirks that are less than desirable. How do you manage that?
How much is enough to conform to what we need in order to survive the environment we choose? Is there a line that exists where enough is enough? How do we incorporate OUR rules so that our needs are met? I find that we need some calibration tool to manage the ebb & flow of our feelings so that we do not burn out sooner than later. But at the same time, there is a need to be cautious because we are judged by the standards of other rather than ourselves.
My thought is that you rule by a committee of one; you. I say that because anything less than what you need is simply a waste. Now, realistic expectations are required but we must find a way to be fortified in a particular environment. I don’t know the answer to this one, but I do know we need to understand the rule of engagement before we accept or reject any environment. It is up to the home team to share the rules (expectations). It is up to embrace or deny.
All these rules can get confusing when we want what’s different than what is available…
When you are in someone else’s space (be it work, relationship or otherwise), it is said that you must play by their rules; really? Now, say it’s about work, and you don’t like the environment or the boss that run the environment. What are your options? You can always quit and keep your pride or you can knuckle under and accept what’s given to you. Either way, there is some maneuvering to look forward to.
What about relationships? You’re with someone who has a lot of what you seek in an ideal mate. Not to mention, you’re afraid of being alone. Now I hear all the time that one needs to be by them selves to get to know them selves. I believe that. However, what if knowing yourself mean you don’t like being alone (different from lonely). Your mate has a few quirks that are less than desirable. How do you manage that?
How much is enough to conform to what we need in order to survive the environment we choose? Is there a line that exists where enough is enough? How do we incorporate OUR rules so that our needs are met? I find that we need some calibration tool to manage the ebb & flow of our feelings so that we do not burn out sooner than later. But at the same time, there is a need to be cautious because we are judged by the standards of other rather than ourselves.
My thought is that you rule by a committee of one; you. I say that because anything less than what you need is simply a waste. Now, realistic expectations are required but we must find a way to be fortified in a particular environment. I don’t know the answer to this one, but I do know we need to understand the rule of engagement before we accept or reject any environment. It is up to the home team to share the rules (expectations). It is up to embrace or deny.
All these rules can get confusing when we want what’s different than what is available…
Monday, September 28, 2009
For what it's worth
Spending time with your friends of the past can bring some pleasant memories. The funny thing is, the farther removed you are from the event, the better the stories get. Why is that? Probably because no one who was there can rebuff your story and it's authenticity. You should have heard us; one of the brothers talked about an intramural basketball game that ended well because we won. However, the way we won was a little distorted. How do I know, I was there. The lead scorer for our team made 13 shots in the game. In non-professional basketball, that is a pretty good feat. It took him 38-39 shots to get there (He was quite the ball-hog) but hey, it was a sight for all to witness. By the time he told the story to us, he made 13 shots in a row and ended the game with 42 shots made. The story was funny and full of lies as I sat back laughing until tears ran down my face. But, the chance of hanging with the brothers of Phi Beta Sigma (Pi Delta chapter, Chico State) was simply FUN. I'm looking forward our next gathering. And for what it's worth, you do what you gotta do to make the friendships last. Let your people be themselves (even when they exaggerate a story) and you love them to the fullest.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
Who says?????
Who says when it's time to go? Who says when it's time to stay? Who says when it's time to argue? Who says when it's time to get down? Who says when it's time to stop. Who says when it's time to wait? Who says when it's time to have an attitude? Who says when it's time to fight? Make up? Or agree to disagree?
Who says? Who says? Who says what in your relationship?
You tell me. I'm interested in your answer.
Who says? Who says? Who says what in your relationship?
You tell me. I'm interested in your answer.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
It's been a long time since my last entry.
For the readers/followers, I apologize. I am rounding out my next topic and I hope you will enjoy it as much as I am having writing it. Should be up very soon so be on the look out.
I have a parting question for you. Does competitive balance belong in a loving relationship? Now, before you curse me out and say hell-no; I challenge you to think (or for some of you, rethink) the question before answering it. The question does not read "Should we compete?" It reads does competitive balance belong in the relationship?
For those of you who don't know what competitive balance is, I'll give you an example:
It's when a store or distributor sells a type of product by several manufactures. All have the same claim to do what ever the product is designed to do. One is really no better than the other, but people will buy because they feel they have a choice in the matter. Usually, store/distributor will buy from one product line to another knowing that the sell for that product itself will continue to move off the shelves.
Until there is a super product that comes in and wipes all other competing products off the shelf because it performs that much better than the rest. Selling out of one product name as opposed to selling out of the others at the same time removes the competitive advantage from the store/distributor and the store will not sell the super product, but will continue to sell the flawed products because of the volumes of units that's to sell is a benefit to the store (regarding the volume of units sold).
I will reveal my point to this question later, but I ask you to at least ponder the question. Who knows, I may call on you to help with a response/debate/defense.
Until our next connection, be well & treat others the same.
I have a parting question for you. Does competitive balance belong in a loving relationship? Now, before you curse me out and say hell-no; I challenge you to think (or for some of you, rethink) the question before answering it. The question does not read "Should we compete?" It reads does competitive balance belong in the relationship?
For those of you who don't know what competitive balance is, I'll give you an example:
It's when a store or distributor sells a type of product by several manufactures. All have the same claim to do what ever the product is designed to do. One is really no better than the other, but people will buy because they feel they have a choice in the matter. Usually, store/distributor will buy from one product line to another knowing that the sell for that product itself will continue to move off the shelves.
Until there is a super product that comes in and wipes all other competing products off the shelf because it performs that much better than the rest. Selling out of one product name as opposed to selling out of the others at the same time removes the competitive advantage from the store/distributor and the store will not sell the super product, but will continue to sell the flawed products because of the volumes of units that's to sell is a benefit to the store (regarding the volume of units sold).
I will reveal my point to this question later, but I ask you to at least ponder the question. Who knows, I may call on you to help with a response/debate/defense.
Until our next connection, be well & treat others the same.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Seeking balance in work/home. Where do we turn?
We devote so much time to our jobs and careers for the interest of moving our companies forward. Which, in turn mean we add our own value in hopes that the company sees us as assets. We work longer hours for the same pay (which, if you quantify it, means that we are receiving diminished returns) just to secure our jobs. However, when the company’s bottom line is threatened, where does it turn to save cost?
While we devote our extra time to work, we usually neglect our families and justify the move as a means of moving up in the company. Wives, Husbands, Children & pets alike get the shaft and are asked to deal with it. However, bad blood is festering at home for the interest is keeping the money rolling in. Some may argue that not enough money is rolling in but I digress. Once the paycheck is cashed, where does that put you and your loved-ones?
Now that the economy is tanking (with some sign of bouncing back) some companies are forced to lay-off or down size. We receive our paychecks and layoff notice and we go home to loving arms of our family members. How do they feel know that your boss has kicked you to the curb after they have kicked you to the curb for their career?
Does our new job include repairing the relationships with our family members? When do we began to repair our broken promises at home?
While we devote our extra time to work, we usually neglect our families and justify the move as a means of moving up in the company. Wives, Husbands, Children & pets alike get the shaft and are asked to deal with it. However, bad blood is festering at home for the interest is keeping the money rolling in. Some may argue that not enough money is rolling in but I digress. Once the paycheck is cashed, where does that put you and your loved-ones?
Now that the economy is tanking (with some sign of bouncing back) some companies are forced to lay-off or down size. We receive our paychecks and layoff notice and we go home to loving arms of our family members. How do they feel know that your boss has kicked you to the curb after they have kicked you to the curb for their career?
Does our new job include repairing the relationships with our family members? When do we began to repair our broken promises at home?
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Trial and error in the land of love
To participate in the game of love takes the desire to win, the humility to lose, the drive to push on and the understanding to know when to say when. Timing; who knows when the right or when the time is right. Do I push on or step off? Can I love you for a season, or do I love you for a life time. Am I Mr/Mrs. right or just right now?
Friday, May 8, 2009
Which have you cashed lately?
Self check, payroll check, reality check. Which have you cashed lately and is its meaning to you?
In the land of milk & honey, & in the culture of get yours. What is YOUR cost?
It is said we all have a price and will just about anything for that price. What's yours?
In the land of milk & honey, & in the culture of get yours. What is YOUR cost?
It is said we all have a price and will just about anything for that price. What's yours?
Sunday, April 19, 2009
What's in a question?
We know that questions lead to answers and sometimes, more questions. Hey, most times, it leads to more questions than we care to answer. From time-to-time, we are bombarded by questions at a rapid pace and we resort to harsh looks and the thought of saying, “stay out of my business”. This is posturing at its most defensive manner. With that said, we still do not know what’s in a question. We are constantly wondering the motive of the questioning speculate
whether the questioner has our best interest at heart, or are they looking for dirt.I have posed a series of questions for you and your interest. I ask that you take a moment to reflect on what you do and why you do it.
** Would you recommend your lifestyle and daily habits to the person you respect most?** What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
** Are you able to treat failure with enthusiasm if you have learned something from it?
** Can you except the fact that the higher you soar, the higher your commitment level must be?
** How much would you help someone who could not pay you back?
** What would you do if no one were watching you?
** If you were a stock, would you invest in YOU?
** Could you lead without caring about the cause?
** Can you encourage others to do well even when you are not?
** When you look behind, what have you learned?
** Do you see things as you are or as they are?
** When you evaluate a situation, do you ask why? Or why not?
** Do you lead by slogan or by example?
** If money was no object, what is the first thing you buy?
** Are your current problems your fault?
** What are you waiting for?
I ask again, what’s in a
? The answers can motivate you to move on or motivate you to move somewhere else. Whatever the case, these and other questions like them will require you to think even for just a minute.
Monday, April 6, 2009
The strong shall survive (even in this economy)
I, like you have heard the adage: “only the strong survive”. My question is where does this saying come from? Or, in grammar that is more proper, “from where does this verbiage start (for you English majors following along)?”
Wherever this tradition is birthed, you have to wonder if the strength I speak of is internal (coming from one’s self), from the support & resources afforded to you in your quest to capture your dreams & desires or because of combining the two. This question and many like it has sparked countless debate over what makes one “strong” in relation to the amount of success one has secured. Some people believe that success in material things, others believe it is the life one lives, and many others envisions success as a journey and not a destination at all. Whichever the side of the fence you reside, there is an element of truth to what YOU believe.
In your pursuit of success, decide to pay the price for something and you will get what you want. The strength is determined not by the “cost” you are willing to pay, but by the resolve, you put behind your effort. Anyone can put a price tag on an item (intangible or otherwise) but the capture of such, thus, “paying the price” means something to those who complete the job and others who just try hard yet fail. When a person is on fire to succeed it is by choice, not by occurrence. And when I say this, I mean it in the fashion of one making the fire happen, not by spontaneous combustion. Success, like failure does not happen by accident, it is a model of consistency in either direction. There is great strength in keeping on to the end.
Does this mean that trying is not worth it without the reward? Well, this brings along a different train of thought. My question to you is: If you could not fail, what would you do? Who would you become?
I struggle personally & constantly with this question. I am told, “failure should not be seen as an antithesis of success, but synonymous with success”. You cannot succeed without first failing. There is effort & strength in trying and most of us who have experienced some measure of accomplishment can share stories of triumph and failure.
Let us look at professional sports starting with baseball first. If you bat 300 or greater, you are considered an All Star. In Football, if you throw for a completion rating of 60 percent or better, you are Hall of Famer.
In Basketball, if your shooting percentage is 50 or better, you are among the all time greats in the sport. Yet, if we quantify this measurement of success in other professional environments using the same numbers, we would be fired. Most of us will never make as much money as professional athletes but we are not held to the same public standard as either. It takes a great deal of strength to participate and thrive in sports. And the same holds true to our professions.
We do what we do for a living partly for the money but mostly because we enjoy it and have become good by other peoples standards. At least good enough to be paid for it (for some of us, not enough, but I digress - LOL).
I ask this question because this economy has a myriad of effects to us all; some effects greater than others. If you look closely to the human landscape, you will find varying degrees of strength to get people past their momentary hell or just to avoid it all together. Wherever you fall, I ask that you find the strength internally or through the resources afforded to you. These are tough times and tough times calls for strong/tough people.
What are your thoughts?
Wherever this tradition is birthed, you have to wonder if the strength I speak of is internal (coming from one’s self), from the support & resources afforded to you in your quest to capture your dreams & desires or because of combining the two. This question and many like it has sparked countless debate over what makes one “strong” in relation to the amount of success one has secured. Some people believe that success in material things, others believe it is the life one lives, and many others envisions success as a journey and not a destination at all. Whichever the side of the fence you reside, there is an element of truth to what YOU believe.
In your pursuit of success, decide to pay the price for something and you will get what you want. The strength is determined not by the “cost” you are willing to pay, but by the resolve, you put behind your effort. Anyone can put a price tag on an item (intangible or otherwise) but the capture of such, thus, “paying the price” means something to those who complete the job and others who just try hard yet fail. When a person is on fire to succeed it is by choice, not by occurrence. And when I say this, I mean it in the fashion of one making the fire happen, not by spontaneous combustion. Success, like failure does not happen by accident, it is a model of consistency in either direction. There is great strength in keeping on to the end.
Does this mean that trying is not worth it without the reward? Well, this brings along a different train of thought. My question to you is: If you could not fail, what would you do? Who would you become?
I struggle personally & constantly with this question. I am told, “failure should not be seen as an antithesis of success, but synonymous with success”. You cannot succeed without first failing. There is effort & strength in trying and most of us who have experienced some measure of accomplishment can share stories of triumph and failure.
Let us look at professional sports starting with baseball first. If you bat 300 or greater, you are considered an All Star. In Football, if you throw for a completion rating of 60 percent or better, you are Hall of Famer.
In Basketball, if your shooting percentage is 50 or better, you are among the all time greats in the sport. Yet, if we quantify this measurement of success in other professional environments using the same numbers, we would be fired. Most of us will never make as much money as professional athletes but we are not held to the same public standard as either. It takes a great deal of strength to participate and thrive in sports. And the same holds true to our professions.We do what we do for a living partly for the money but mostly because we enjoy it and have become good by other peoples standards. At least good enough to be paid for it (for some of us, not enough, but I digress - LOL).
I ask this question because this economy has a myriad of effects to us all; some effects greater than others. If you look closely to the human landscape, you will find varying degrees of strength to get people past their momentary hell or just to avoid it all together. Wherever you fall, I ask that you find the strength internally or through the resources afforded to you. These are tough times and tough times calls for strong/tough people.
What are your thoughts?
Friday, February 13, 2009
If it's about love; what's love got to do with it?
In the interest of cupid's holiday (aka: Valentine's day), I thought I bring about the topic of love. It is my belief that L-O-V-E has many different interpretations by the myriad of people who has experienced this emotion (and care to acknowledge it).
Due to free will, we exercise our rights to love who we want and think about our love-one as often as we wish. Speaking of wish (for those of us lucky enough to be in a loving relationship), we are with the person we wish to love and express that love to the fullest. For some of us, we are "locked" into a relation and yet, wish to be with another love who is not in our special arena.
There are many things that tie us to "that" one be it looks, connection (vibe), appeal, wealth, intellect, or other. Whatever the case is for you, you can remember as if it was yesterday when you fell in love with that person. Love is not the cure-all as we sit back and reflect on what it is that make us crazy; and sometimes you say to yourself "I must have been crazy to mess with that fool". As much as we try to shake-it-off, we find ourselves spending more time thinking about the good & bad with “that” one than we care to admit.
If you are currently in love, use these poems to reflect on that one and consider yourself lucky. If you are not in the mood for love, consider using these words to think about what love is in your mind and reflect on how to get back there (If that's your destination).
Keep this tidbit in mind: True love is not bought; it is volunteered. There is nothing in this world or the next stronger than the heart of a volunteer. To volunteer is to choose in favor ‘of’ for the interest ‘of’ at our expense. Love is not free, as it requires an investment of your time, emotional being and our attention while living a life that is near transparent. Our mate needs to see us as who we are and what we are. We owe them that up front if we are to LOVE them. To get it in return is where the love is reciprocated. The lover of your choice will need to know where you are coming from and where you are going in order to follow you; and you follow them.
With that said, I would like to share two of my poems dedicated to this very subject and get your thought on the four-letter word. As much as it is frightening, I believe we all want, lust, yearn, and search for the emotional fulfilling space.
I share with you my two poems titled: “How Do I Love Thee” and “The Telling Heart” both of which I am very proud. I invite you of comment and participate in discussions amongst your friends. I do not claim to be an expert of any sort; I am a willing participant and interested in this thing called love.
Thank you for reading…
How Do I love Thee?
Love is an emotion that nearly everyone has experienced at some time of his or her life. The feelings I have for you are that of which I can imagine being your friend, you lover and your confidante. To love you is to love what you stand for; you are the one I call extraordinary. How do I love thee?
Never have I felt so strongly for someone. There was a time I was afraid to care for anyone other than myself and it was your embracing love for me that made it all right and for that I am truly indebted. How do I love thee?
From the time we met I wanted nothing more than to share with you, love with and stay with you. Hand in hand, side-by-side is where I preferred to be. Nothing can compare to your face, your voice or your love. How do I love thee?
I am seized with felicity whenever I recall the exceptional moments we have shared for you complete me. By virtue of you, I thank GOD a thousand times for creating you, therefore assisting me to evolve to a better person. How do I love thee?
You have educated me about how to take charge of my life through first believing in myself. You have equally shared in helping me grow and learn and live abundantly. How do I love thee?
Your encircling embrace is a constant reminder of what I have found in you. I love you for understanding that true love is one that is reciprocated. My prayer is that my love leads you to infinite euphoria. How do I love thee?
I was successful when I found you, and now I am successful with the purpose of loving you and only you. My life’s never been the same and I want you to know that you are appreciated. How do I love thee?
Your ethical wisdom, your emotive power, your profound convictions are some of the many reasons why I am in love with you. How do I love thee?
My heart belongs to you not for the words you speak, but of your harmonious display of affection. Do you believe in love? Because I believe in you, I believe in us. I want to love you for life and the promises you’ve shared with me. This is my declaration to the one I like, the one I trust, the one I love; and that is how I love thee.
Written By LaMar Vinson ©
The Telling Heart
(An ode to LOVE)
I desire not of what my heart yearn for, but of what others define as acceptable. It’s popular to request the advice of those who are in no better shape than you are in when it comes to dealing with love management. We listen and act on their scope of influence; what they know and what is best for them.
I have acquired a liking for a certain someone. Though not my ideal partner, this individual was chosen by a one-person committee. Convenience and the disliking of being alone were the qualifications necessary for why I have accepted this person’s presence in my life. In all honesty, I want what doesn’t want me. The person I love, cherish and for reasons unknown, decides that I am not what they see as ideal company.
I ask the proverbial question: Why not am I the chosen one by my desired mate? I mask the pain, confusion, and embarrassment of being inadequate in my mate’s standards. Too proud to beg for the their return, yet too stubborn to relinquish their espousal attendance.
I inquire for assistance from my heart to discover my blissful dwelling; wherever that may be. My heart tells me in a language that I have yet to comprehend or admit. The truth stands before me communicating a discourse that is foreign and unfamiliar to my sense of interpretation.
I want to be where I am not wanted, and therefore not accepted. My heart is filled with pain, and weighted down with the burden of accepting not what is desired, but what is appropriate for this particular situation.
I spend empty moments waiting for you to reach out to me. If you look closely, I am not far away. I have opened the window of opportunity for you to climb in and initiate discussion. You start and I can handle the rest; all I ask of you is hear me out. I will right the wrong, I will define the misunderstanding, and I will engage the indifferent.
I am all cried out, though you fail to discover any confirmation of such heart felt hurt as my pain is reaching unprecedented enormity. To the one I long for, I think of you more than you know and more than I care to confess. I want to spend my life with you, but no more am I willing to cheat my heart of what is rightfully deserves. To the one I’m with, my immediate relief, time will tell where we belong with respect to one another.
I ask my heart again what is the right thing to do about this situation and it tells me….
Written By LaMar Vinson ©
Due to free will, we exercise our rights to love who we want and think about our love-one as often as we wish. Speaking of wish (for those of us lucky enough to be in a loving relationship), we are with the person we wish to love and express that love to the fullest. For some of us, we are "locked" into a relation and yet, wish to be with another love who is not in our special arena.
There are many things that tie us to "that" one be it looks, connection (vibe), appeal, wealth, intellect, or other. Whatever the case is for you, you can remember as if it was yesterday when you fell in love with that person. Love is not the cure-all as we sit back and reflect on what it is that make us crazy; and sometimes you say to yourself "I must have been crazy to mess with that fool". As much as we try to shake-it-off, we find ourselves spending more time thinking about the good & bad with “that” one than we care to admit.
If you are currently in love, use these poems to reflect on that one and consider yourself lucky. If you are not in the mood for love, consider using these words to think about what love is in your mind and reflect on how to get back there (If that's your destination).
Keep this tidbit in mind: True love is not bought; it is volunteered. There is nothing in this world or the next stronger than the heart of a volunteer. To volunteer is to choose in favor ‘of’ for the interest ‘of’ at our expense. Love is not free, as it requires an investment of your time, emotional being and our attention while living a life that is near transparent. Our mate needs to see us as who we are and what we are. We owe them that up front if we are to LOVE them. To get it in return is where the love is reciprocated. The lover of your choice will need to know where you are coming from and where you are going in order to follow you; and you follow them.
With that said, I would like to share two of my poems dedicated to this very subject and get your thought on the four-letter word. As much as it is frightening, I believe we all want, lust, yearn, and search for the emotional fulfilling space.
I share with you my two poems titled: “How Do I Love Thee” and “The Telling Heart” both of which I am very proud. I invite you of comment and participate in discussions amongst your friends. I do not claim to be an expert of any sort; I am a willing participant and interested in this thing called love.
Thank you for reading…
How Do I love Thee?
Love is an emotion that nearly everyone has experienced at some time of his or her life. The feelings I have for you are that of which I can imagine being your friend, you lover and your confidante. To love you is to love what you stand for; you are the one I call extraordinary. How do I love thee?
Never have I felt so strongly for someone. There was a time I was afraid to care for anyone other than myself and it was your embracing love for me that made it all right and for that I am truly indebted. How do I love thee?
From the time we met I wanted nothing more than to share with you, love with and stay with you. Hand in hand, side-by-side is where I preferred to be. Nothing can compare to your face, your voice or your love. How do I love thee?
I am seized with felicity whenever I recall the exceptional moments we have shared for you complete me. By virtue of you, I thank GOD a thousand times for creating you, therefore assisting me to evolve to a better person. How do I love thee?
You have educated me about how to take charge of my life through first believing in myself. You have equally shared in helping me grow and learn and live abundantly. How do I love thee?
Your encircling embrace is a constant reminder of what I have found in you. I love you for understanding that true love is one that is reciprocated. My prayer is that my love leads you to infinite euphoria. How do I love thee?
I was successful when I found you, and now I am successful with the purpose of loving you and only you. My life’s never been the same and I want you to know that you are appreciated. How do I love thee?
Your ethical wisdom, your emotive power, your profound convictions are some of the many reasons why I am in love with you. How do I love thee?
My heart belongs to you not for the words you speak, but of your harmonious display of affection. Do you believe in love? Because I believe in you, I believe in us. I want to love you for life and the promises you’ve shared with me. This is my declaration to the one I like, the one I trust, the one I love; and that is how I love thee.
Written By LaMar Vinson ©
The Telling Heart
(An ode to LOVE)
I desire not of what my heart yearn for, but of what others define as acceptable. It’s popular to request the advice of those who are in no better shape than you are in when it comes to dealing with love management. We listen and act on their scope of influence; what they know and what is best for them.
I have acquired a liking for a certain someone. Though not my ideal partner, this individual was chosen by a one-person committee. Convenience and the disliking of being alone were the qualifications necessary for why I have accepted this person’s presence in my life. In all honesty, I want what doesn’t want me. The person I love, cherish and for reasons unknown, decides that I am not what they see as ideal company.
I ask the proverbial question: Why not am I the chosen one by my desired mate? I mask the pain, confusion, and embarrassment of being inadequate in my mate’s standards. Too proud to beg for the their return, yet too stubborn to relinquish their espousal attendance.
I inquire for assistance from my heart to discover my blissful dwelling; wherever that may be. My heart tells me in a language that I have yet to comprehend or admit. The truth stands before me communicating a discourse that is foreign and unfamiliar to my sense of interpretation.
I want to be where I am not wanted, and therefore not accepted. My heart is filled with pain, and weighted down with the burden of accepting not what is desired, but what is appropriate for this particular situation.
I spend empty moments waiting for you to reach out to me. If you look closely, I am not far away. I have opened the window of opportunity for you to climb in and initiate discussion. You start and I can handle the rest; all I ask of you is hear me out. I will right the wrong, I will define the misunderstanding, and I will engage the indifferent.
I am all cried out, though you fail to discover any confirmation of such heart felt hurt as my pain is reaching unprecedented enormity. To the one I long for, I think of you more than you know and more than I care to confess. I want to spend my life with you, but no more am I willing to cheat my heart of what is rightfully deserves. To the one I’m with, my immediate relief, time will tell where we belong with respect to one another.
I ask my heart again what is the right thing to do about this situation and it tells me….
Written By LaMar Vinson ©
Monday, February 9, 2009
Black history, our history, are we history???
In the interest of black history month, I want to share some insight on our well-known heroes. The usual names Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks, W.E.B. DuBois, Fredrick Douglas and a score of others obviously stood for the search of equality and enrichment as a race of people. What they received was a representation of blacks in history books only in reference to the low social position they held as slaves (Though MLK was not a slave, he was in the heart of the civil rights movement stemming from the remnants of slavery). The heroes of yesteryear and today are fighting similar battles, but with different focuses to address. “Part of the aim of Black History Month is to recognize significant contributions to society made by black slaves and how their history is integral to mainstream narratives” Ref: Wikipedia).
Back in the decades of the 1600 – 1900’s the fight centered on Africans taken from their homeland and eventually American born blacks forced to work in America (Colonial American territory) against their will. Though there were many different fights of note (too many to list for the sake of this blog), the idea is to embrace an understanding of the common threat to Africans and American born blacks and what they dealt with in terms of struggles. Considered 3/5 of a human being, no equal rights in comparison to their white/European brethrens, the “known” enemy, “the establishment” and the fight was to break what was the norm for the betterment of African and American born blacks during those times. The need to rebel was simple (not to be confused with easy) and oppressors were known. It was truly an “us vs. them” mentality. One that forced many to take a side and defend until death in the heat of battle. As we read in our history books, there isn’t great mention of what the struggle really entailed, thus it makes it difficult (for me at least) to understand with great depth the struggles endured and appreciate the accomplishment birthed from the momentous victories; all of them.
Today, African Americans, blacks, however you care to qualify the term are in another fight. This time, the ‘enemy’ is not of a different skin or ethnicity, but of a complexion, namesake & residence similar to ours. In the interest of “get rich or die trying”, chasing that paper, and the need to get R-E-S-P-E-C-T, we have resorted to actions that cripples our own chance for advancement, enhance our circumstance of destitute and point to finger to others (especially “The Man”) like they made us do it when in reality, we ‘do it’ to ourselves.
I was listening to a program on a radio talk show in the Bay Area recently and there was mention of what is going on in the Washington DC area in regards to rampant drug sales/use. This sad sake of events is not anything new as we struggle with this epidemic everywhere. It is my opinion that drug dealers have zero regard for life. If there is any question to this ‘personal’ hypothesis, ask a drug dealer to look into the eyes of a fiend needing a hit and refuse service to them. Better yet, ask the dealer to sponsor the recovery efforts of the fiend. If there is a refusal for whatever reason, that is your answer. Again, these are my views and I am sure many share this line of thinking.
Getting back on track, what makes the story I heard more troubling, there is a term being used I find just as offensive as the drug sales. The term for the “good stuff” is now being called 'OBAMA'. While listening, I thought there was a misread by the radio talk show host but it was reiterated that the ‘OBAMA’ is that’s’ being used as the drug term of choice. In light of what is taking place in American history and President Obama is in the white house doing this job, there are some taking what is right with our advancement efforts and using it for their sick, maniacal ventures.
I am not on a personal quest to rid the use of illegal drugs and the toll it takes on our people (Though I’d like to), but I want to make the connection of our ancestral and racial struggles toward advancement and how we knew what we were up against; and that was freedom.
Today, our fight is a little different and our battle is more serious than before. Back in the day, we were fighting for equality and acceptance as a race. Today, we fight for survival as a race.
This entry is not to score in great details of the ills of what we were and are up against as a race (as all races can benefit from this cause), but it is designed to shed some light and initiate dialogue as thoughtful conversation by a few can start a movement of great worth. For black history, (like all history of racial interest) survival and thriving are worth our hard work.
We are familiar of the celebrated greats of the past. Let us see if we can add significance to our race (to which ever one you belong) and become historic in our efforts. It has been said, “you will die; but will you do so not ever knowing that you have lived”?
I invite you to participate in this blog and thank you for your interest in reading.
Back in the decades of the 1600 – 1900’s the fight centered on Africans taken from their homeland and eventually American born blacks forced to work in America (Colonial American territory) against their will. Though there were many different fights of note (too many to list for the sake of this blog), the idea is to embrace an understanding of the common threat to Africans and American born blacks and what they dealt with in terms of struggles. Considered 3/5 of a human being, no equal rights in comparison to their white/European brethrens, the “known” enemy, “the establishment” and the fight was to break what was the norm for the betterment of African and American born blacks during those times. The need to rebel was simple (not to be confused with easy) and oppressors were known. It was truly an “us vs. them” mentality. One that forced many to take a side and defend until death in the heat of battle. As we read in our history books, there isn’t great mention of what the struggle really entailed, thus it makes it difficult (for me at least) to understand with great depth the struggles endured and appreciate the accomplishment birthed from the momentous victories; all of them.
Today, African Americans, blacks, however you care to qualify the term are in another fight. This time, the ‘enemy’ is not of a different skin or ethnicity, but of a complexion, namesake & residence similar to ours. In the interest of “get rich or die trying”, chasing that paper, and the need to get R-E-S-P-E-C-T, we have resorted to actions that cripples our own chance for advancement, enhance our circumstance of destitute and point to finger to others (especially “The Man”) like they made us do it when in reality, we ‘do it’ to ourselves.
I was listening to a program on a radio talk show in the Bay Area recently and there was mention of what is going on in the Washington DC area in regards to rampant drug sales/use. This sad sake of events is not anything new as we struggle with this epidemic everywhere. It is my opinion that drug dealers have zero regard for life. If there is any question to this ‘personal’ hypothesis, ask a drug dealer to look into the eyes of a fiend needing a hit and refuse service to them. Better yet, ask the dealer to sponsor the recovery efforts of the fiend. If there is a refusal for whatever reason, that is your answer. Again, these are my views and I am sure many share this line of thinking.
Getting back on track, what makes the story I heard more troubling, there is a term being used I find just as offensive as the drug sales. The term for the “good stuff” is now being called 'OBAMA'. While listening, I thought there was a misread by the radio talk show host but it was reiterated that the ‘OBAMA’ is that’s’ being used as the drug term of choice. In light of what is taking place in American history and President Obama is in the white house doing this job, there are some taking what is right with our advancement efforts and using it for their sick, maniacal ventures.
I am not on a personal quest to rid the use of illegal drugs and the toll it takes on our people (Though I’d like to), but I want to make the connection of our ancestral and racial struggles toward advancement and how we knew what we were up against; and that was freedom.
Today, our fight is a little different and our battle is more serious than before. Back in the day, we were fighting for equality and acceptance as a race. Today, we fight for survival as a race.
This entry is not to score in great details of the ills of what we were and are up against as a race (as all races can benefit from this cause), but it is designed to shed some light and initiate dialogue as thoughtful conversation by a few can start a movement of great worth. For black history, (like all history of racial interest) survival and thriving are worth our hard work.
We are familiar of the celebrated greats of the past. Let us see if we can add significance to our race (to which ever one you belong) and become historic in our efforts. It has been said, “you will die; but will you do so not ever knowing that you have lived”?
I invite you to participate in this blog and thank you for your interest in reading.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Presidential Glow
Salutation friends,
I have completed my latest poem in respect of our new President: Barak Obama. Many of you are aware of the challenge and triumph endured during the campaign season. Like you, I found the event thought provoking, emotional, hopeful & helpful. I cannot remember when I became so involved in the electoral process, but I do know that I am a new political junkie and I am eager to see what President Obama will do to help us help ourselves.
Welcome to my latest poem titled: Presidential Glow
In the race to be number 44, will require a margin of 50. Fifty-one unilateral voices spoke on November 4, the masses loudly rejoice in their vote meticulously.
Two hundred seventy to claim victory with promises recorded by notes; the day-to-day heckling (they call it campaigning) is the method by which to garner favorable votes.
What makes this event different is a chance at being the first. In the lineage of the prior 43, the concept of ignorance and division must first be disbursed.
Bad habits to be broken, actions require constant plea, you voted as our leader of leaders was regarded as unforeseen.
Never in our history have such a choice been made, though unanimous was the key many still scream in dismay.
To be black is one thing, to be presidential is another; a post this high-held is not to decide by color.
Our journey is just starting; Obama has accomplished a great feat. It was with your call and our accountability that refused to accept defeat.
We, as a nation have crumbled and the numbers fail to lie. Yet, our resurgence to greatness is a feat well worth to comply.
You had the audacity to hope and challenged family men to serve, our freedom and fulfillment is just some of what we deserve.
Real winners refuse the handouts and dismiss the notion of luck; through preparedness & opportunity are the irons of timing accurately struck.
You have been elected PRESIDENT of all 50 states. It is not for you to do for us, but we, as a team must do what is great.
Your chance to lead our nation is needed, more than you can ever know. Let us see how greatness shines for all with your Presidential glow. ©
Written by LaMar Vinson
I have completed my latest poem in respect of our new President: Barak Obama. Many of you are aware of the challenge and triumph endured during the campaign season. Like you, I found the event thought provoking, emotional, hopeful & helpful. I cannot remember when I became so involved in the electoral process, but I do know that I am a new political junkie and I am eager to see what President Obama will do to help us help ourselves.
Welcome to my latest poem titled: Presidential Glow
In the race to be number 44, will require a margin of 50. Fifty-one unilateral voices spoke on November 4, the masses loudly rejoice in their vote meticulously.
Two hundred seventy to claim victory with promises recorded by notes; the day-to-day heckling (they call it campaigning) is the method by which to garner favorable votes.
What makes this event different is a chance at being the first. In the lineage of the prior 43, the concept of ignorance and division must first be disbursed.
Bad habits to be broken, actions require constant plea, you voted as our leader of leaders was regarded as unforeseen.
Never in our history have such a choice been made, though unanimous was the key many still scream in dismay.
To be black is one thing, to be presidential is another; a post this high-held is not to decide by color.
Our journey is just starting; Obama has accomplished a great feat. It was with your call and our accountability that refused to accept defeat.
We, as a nation have crumbled and the numbers fail to lie. Yet, our resurgence to greatness is a feat well worth to comply.
You had the audacity to hope and challenged family men to serve, our freedom and fulfillment is just some of what we deserve.
Real winners refuse the handouts and dismiss the notion of luck; through preparedness & opportunity are the irons of timing accurately struck.
You have been elected PRESIDENT of all 50 states. It is not for you to do for us, but we, as a team must do what is great.
Your chance to lead our nation is needed, more than you can ever know. Let us see how greatness shines for all with your Presidential glow. ©
Written by LaMar Vinson
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The start of a new day (Barack's time is now)
With the 44th Presidential inauguration behind us (I have to say it made for wonderful viewing), the real work starts with a myriad of issues to address.
From the economy going to "you know where in a hand basket"; to the war and how to strategize our next move; to health care we have a lot that needs immediate attention. Being President of the United States is the one position I do not envy, though I am watching closely how we as a nation can do our part in getting this country back to where it needs to be.
Let us ask the question: "Where does the burden of accountability fall?" Is it with the President and his ability to put into law any bill he sees fit, or is it our responsibility as US citizens to voice our true concerns and what we would like to see in the form of improvement? This seems to be one of those push-pull debates that initiates finger pointing name blaming while time passes and the responsibility falls on the shoulder of the next administration (See George W. Bush for a great example).
Today is the beginning of what the next four years (possibly eight years) will mean in the form of impact to this country. Many are waiting for the first move to see if the trend will assimilate or rival that of the previous administration. Let us hope that the later is what we witness seeing that Mr. Bush rated as one of the lowest approval rated Presidents. Sure, this is not the example we want to follow. If anything, this is a blue print of what not to do when holding the single most important post in the "free" world.
When the President asks for our help in getting our country back to prominence, how will we respond? For what are we held accountable? How do we make sure we are on task when called upon? These are the just some of the questions that will be answered in the first 100 days in office. Like the Presidential race, I will continue to tune in with great interest. I am not looking for President Obama to solve all of "my" problems, but I am looking for a leader who can initiate action, embrace accountability and call on the assistance of committed teammates seeking to accomplish a common goal.
I am rooting for President Obama to do a fine job not for me, but for what the country and world can have when we are in a good space.
I am watching with both eyes open.
I invite you to share your thoughts:
Thank you
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Barak Obama's last weekend as a civilian (Sort of)
As many of you know, this is Barak Obama's last weekend as President-Elect; the closest thing to being a normal citizen as he knows. As of Tuesday, January 20, 2009, Mr. Obama will be sworn in as the 44th President of these United States.
Put yourself in his shoes for a moment. If this were your last weekend for life as you saw normal (whatever that means to you), how would you spend it? What would you do? How would you cope with the change that is to come?
I have my own thoughts of spending as much time with my family. I would probably treat it like a long weekend we have become use to at work. You know, like getting excited on Friday, knowing that Monday was your day to catch-up around the house, seeing a movie or two, going out on the town (in this economy you may not go very far). What exactly would you do knowing the biggest day of your life will come this Tuesday?
I invite you to share your thoughts.
LaMar (YoHan) Vinson
Put yourself in his shoes for a moment. If this were your last weekend for life as you saw normal (whatever that means to you), how would you spend it? What would you do? How would you cope with the change that is to come?
I have my own thoughts of spending as much time with my family. I would probably treat it like a long weekend we have become use to at work. You know, like getting excited on Friday, knowing that Monday was your day to catch-up around the house, seeing a movie or two, going out on the town (in this economy you may not go very far). What exactly would you do knowing the biggest day of your life will come this Tuesday?
I invite you to share your thoughts.
LaMar (YoHan) Vinson
We have to start from somewhere...
Greetings all,
Welcome to the first of what I hope are many installments of straight talk about topics of the day. This is my first blog and I hope you enjoy the journey as much as I plan to.
Tonight's topic, just say hello...
Thank you for your participation.
YoHan D. Man
Welcome to the first of what I hope are many installments of straight talk about topics of the day. This is my first blog and I hope you enjoy the journey as much as I plan to.
Tonight's topic, just say hello...
Thank you for your participation.
YoHan D. Man
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